✅ Say Instead: 

Autism, ADHD, Autistic Person, ADHDer

🧠 Why it Matters:

‘Disorder’ frames neurodivergence as inherently broken or pathological.

💬 Examples:

"My client is autistic."

 "I work with ADHD women."

✅ Say Instead: 

Just name the neurotype 

🧠 Why it Matters:

Implies pain and victimhood. Perpetuates idea of neurodivergence as a tragedy. 

💬 Examples:

"She’s ADHD." (not she ‘suffers from’ ADHD)

✅ Say Instead: 

Has high / low support needs

🧠 Why it Matters:

‘Functioning’ labels flatten nuance and feed into harmful hierarchies. Needs vary, see example. 

💬 Examples:

"They currently have higher support needs around executive function."

✅ Say Instead: 

Disabled / Neurodivergent / Access needs

🧠 Why it Matters:

These terms are patronizing and vague; using accurate, neutral terms is clear and affirms identity.

💬 Examples:

"We’re working to meet access needs for our neurodivergent clients."

✅ Say Instead: 

Neurotypical / Allistic (allistic = not autistic)

🧠 Why it Matters:

'Normal' suggests others are abnormal by comparison and perpetuates stigma & othering.

💬 Examples:

"The training includes both neurodivergent and neurotypical perspectives."

✅ Say Instead: 

Traits / Characteristics

🧠 Why it Matters:

'Symptoms' suggests illness; these are natural variations.

💬 Examples:

"Autistic traits can include sensory sensitivity and literal thinking."

✅ Say Instead: 

Distressed / Communicating through behavior 

🧠 Why it Matters:

These terms mislabel distress as willful /choice and labels behavior as the problem instead of its root cause

💬 Examples:

"Their meltdown was a sign of distress, let’s try to understand some of the contributing factors."

✅ Say Instead: 

Expressing autonomy / Not consenting

🧠 Why it Matters:

Power-based framing that pathologizes autonomy.

Misses/ mislabels potential cues of distress or self-protection.

💬 Examples:

"They were not consenting to the request at that moment."

"They did not feel safe engaging the request as it was presented."

✅ Say Instead: 

Trying to get needs met

🧠 Why it Matters:

Labels like this obscure valid unmet needs.

💬 Examples:

"They’ve found ways to get their needs met when direct methods don’t work."

✅ Say Instead: 

Meltdown / Distress response

🧠 Why it Matters:

‘Tantrum’ implies intention; meltdowns are overwhelmed nervous system responses.

💬 Examples:

"They had a meltdown earlier today and are still recovering."

✅ Say Instead: 

Co-regulation, Support

🧠 Why it Matters:

This terminology harmfully centers conformity and compliance over curiosity and attunement.

💬 Examples:

"We’re working together to identify supports that will meet their sensory needs."

✅ Say Instead: 

Differences in, Support needs around 

🧠 Why it Matters:

Deficit framing centers lack rather than diversity.

💬 Examples:

"He has support needs around working memory."

✅ Say Instead: 

Non-speaking

🧠 Why it Matters:

‘Nonverbal’ can imply absence of communication; many use alternate methods.

💬 Examples:

"They’re a non-speaking communicator who uses AAC."

✅ Say Instead: 

Couldn’t speak / Lost access to speech

🧠 Why it Matters:

‘Nonverbal’ (really non-speaking) is a valid communication identity, not a temporary state.

💬 Examples:

"I lost access to speech while I was in shutdown."

✅ Say Instead: 

Co-occurring, Additional diagnoses

🧠 Why it Matters:

This is a pathologizing term that implies illness or ‘dysfunction.’

💬 Examples:

"Autism and ADHD have a high level of co-occurrence."

✅ Say Instead:  

Autism, Autistic, (some may also identify with Autist)

🧠 Why it Matters:

Hans Asperger was linked to Nazi-era eugenics programs and child euthanasia, which has led many in the community to reject the continued use of his name. Additionally, “Asperger’s Syndrome” was removed from the DSM-5 in 2013 and from the ICD-11 in 2019, making it no longer a current formal diagnosis. While some people who were diagnosed during DSM-IV years (1994–2013) still identify with the term, it’s important to understand the historical context and to defer to how an individual refers to themself.

💬 Examples: 

“My client is autistic.”

“They were diagnosed under the DSM-IV as having Asperger’s, but now identify as autistic.”

“They self-identify as Aspie, and I honor that language in our work together.”